kerstin’s world

I have been away for a few days and wanted to take the time to thank all the wonderful buddies who asked about me. I am doing okay. I am doing a super overhaul. there are some things I cannot control in my life so I need to learn to let them go. I need to learn not to stress and be upset over something I have no control over at all. Not as easy as it sounds.

The other part of overhaul is to surround myself with people who take me the way I am. Now that one is also not always easy but this week it worked well and in return makes me more positive and happier.

I am working on being happy. I am working on not taking people for granted who love me. Sometimes I wonder what the heck is wrong with me? Why do I take my husband for granted. he is there for me ALL the time. Never judges just listens. Always has something to say. He is honest so lots of times it is not what I want to hear.

I have a few friends  who I have been taking for granted as well. They call I do not answer. I think I have nothing good to say so why talk to them. Well a few of them really care.

I wrote this long letter to them apologizing and they accepted it so I am super happy even though it was hard to recognize I was wrong and admitting it it sure paned out.

I have stayed away from here cause it has caused me some stress, heartache and just took too much time out of my day. I do miss it so I decided to still stay but take a step back.  I can learn so much here and hopefully give a thing or two even though i felt I have not done that much. So I want to get back to being supportive and concentrate on my buddies…

I sort of also drifted away from my goals. And I rededicated myself. I have this week not eaten too well nor worked out to my potential so that will stop today. Plan is in place ready to be executed.

it is easy for me to say oh I am 139 now and my goal was 140 so I can take a break. Or heck I am wearing size 5 juniors so heck take a break but well that is not the way to go. I need to keep pushing. I have fat to melt here. lots of it.

Okay this is really it for today. Weird been not blogging but yet have not too much to say. Oh the boring life I lead…

real quick little blog

well I have these red pants. I used to love them when i was at my smallest i bought them 9ish years ago. Size 5.

I kept them throughout my entire weight gain. they were in the back of closet, they were out for motivation they were under my bed.. I kept them and even moved with them. I never thought I would fit in them but they meant so much to me. At that time tony was so very sick and I went out there and had my first real good job. Made super good money, had tons of friends and was very confident. So these pants mean more than just a piece of clothing.

well a few months ago and they were super snug..Today I put them on again and they fit WELL.

I left them on. first time in 8 years. Tony walks in and says holy shit you look hot.. OH MY GOSH. my husband is not the one to compliment. I am not dressed and make uped up for going out just wearing some clothing..

wowsa.. So of course I have to show off here and blog about it.

These pants fit and I hope I get my confident me back now as well

this is more for me than anything..

So warning not weight loss related at all…

what a day what a day. so today was AGAIN a day I wanted to quit smoking. All good intentioned.

I did not want to tell anyone cause well i have failed over and over and over again.

well I should have warned some people who I am in contact with for sure cause I was being very sensitive made a huge deal out of nothing, cried my eyes out, hurt a dear friend.

So that was the first 30 minutes of being awake.

then my son flung a heavy toy at the cat so I smacked his diaper and put him on the chair for a timeout sort of thing. He was just not happy. so he chucked a toy at my head. Hurt like hell. well reflex I slapped him. it was not hard but it surely hurt his feelings and I felt like such a terrible mother. Still do. he was so clingy after that just wanting to know all is alright I suppose…

I am sure he is alright but the bad feeling remains for me. I was really strict with shelby when she was young and she never got in trouble really maybe because of me being so strict. but I yelled a lot and I was so scared that part of me is coming back.

well needless to say I got a pack of smokes now..

But then I had something else that happened and I am so sad and disappointed. I got lied to today and I do not know how to handle it.. I am hurt more so than anything. sad too.. yep just an online friend but I care for this person more than she knows. guess it all meant nothing

So not the best of days. BUT my dear friend Lace was there to listen to me cry, complain, bitch vent. thanks Lacey you are my highlight today. You kept me sane and I love your honestly and bluntness..

okay so not weight loss related but this was for me and I do feel better now. it is time to make amends with my dear friend and tell her I am sorry.. I AM SORRY .. I love you.. you know that right..

I should have warned you..

what an odd day.

I gave poor jack too many oranges yesterday so he did not digest it all and it gave him a bad bad bad diaper rash in just a few minutes. His entire leg and bum is so bad. He could not walk did not sit just cried lots during the day. It has gotten better throughout the day cause I let him run around diaperless but still seems so painful. Poor guy.

My plan was to work out 4 hours throughout the day with a goal of 150 push ups.

well I got 3 hours in and 200 push ups. i think that was my personal best. I spread them out doing 20 at a time first set was 40.. So I got that done in no time. I did some circuit training I came up with a while back 4 reps which was tough tough tough. But man it felt good. I have neglected my arms and that is where I need most work. I know I know you cannot spot train but one can dream.

My husband was super impressed as well. Oh and just a side note. 10 mile run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you very much. 3 more miles to go to my next goal. I am so excited I think I can do this. I was a bit shaky at the end for sure.. longest I ever ran and it surely took me a long time one hour and 50 minutes.

Now with all this work out I also ate 2000 calories which was plenty. I am so super proud of myself If I do say so myself. this is what I did the first month almost daily. Well not to this extent but time wise. Why not now? I feel super good, strong and yep hurting. But a good hurt.

okay just had to share that I did almost complete the goal i set for myself. not hour wise but surely intensity wise..

Who would have thought 5 months ago I can do this? Not me. This just shows me if I can push myself like this I should be able to push myself and accomplish what I set my mind too. Now if I could just muster up the courage to call my 3 creditors all would be well in my world. I hate making phone calls like that. and I Have been dragging my feet for 3 weeks now. Oh I also got up at 5 am this morning. What a different world at this time LOL. Loved it but was so ready to nap at 7 am hahah

okay  my headache is completely gone now and the demerol shot did the trick. I was a bit out of it so if I left funny comments I apologize.. they surly made sense to me. LOL

So yesterday I watched the channel planet green and this show came on. Called 100 mile challenge for 100 days. Such an interesting show. The challenge is about a town in Canada called Mission eating ONLY local foods for 100 days. The food has to come from a radius of 100 miles. Almost the entire town signed up for this challenge and they are following 6 families with one dropping out day one. It sounds so very east but it so is not. No sugar, salt pepper, oil, coffee chocolate etc… It actually is really hard. But it was amazing to watch. First what struck me was the entire family got together and cooked together. Do we still do this? NO.. Food and meals used to be a family activity. Most people did not know what to make cause food was limited. Not only are you helping the environment but it is so much more healthy as well. They cooked from scratch, used no sugar but honey and they all cooked together. Amazing

As most of you know I am a huge supporter of eating local foods. Most local farms around are organic and the food is so much better. the fruits and vegetable are riper therefore have way more vitamins. Protein is usually not corn feed but grass fed or free range eggs.

etc

People started their own gardens as well which I think is amazing people can grow a few things with just having a balcony and I so encourage that.

it was fun to watch those kids on the show having to try new things as well and actually liking some of it.

Now this is a series and I cannot wait till next Wednesday to watch the show.

heck it out if you guys have the channel if not check on what is growing near you guys. Not only is it much much healthier but you are supporting your local community and you are saving the environment. 

Those are my ramblings for the day… Have a great one

hi cyber buddies and friends

well I have had a headache for 3 days now. It has gotten a touch better here and there but it is always coming back. So today I planed on getting  Demerol shot BUT I do not want to. It feels like peanut butter as if it were that thick and it knocks me off my feet for a day or two. Seriously not a good thing. I am trying to hold off as long as I can

I am sure the headaches are stemming from extreme stress and there is nothing I can do about it.

So As you have noticed I was very quiet and have not commented on any blogs nor have I read them to be honest. And I am truly sorry. I hate not being around giving support since I always get so much from you guys but I just can’t. It is taking everything I have to come and explain myself right now.

I just wanted to let you know the reason for my silence is not being a lame buddy but hurting like no one else’s business. ..

So please forgive me!!!!!

Oh on another note. I am now 138.8 who would have thunk I would drop below 140. Not me!!!!!

Quite exciting to be honest so maybe I can shoot for another goal.

I have not been working out the last three days of course so will hit it super hard once I get rid of this headache…

Okay I saw this report today… people are more likely to loose weight and keep it off with Internet online support. Now how cool is that.. we are going to be successful..

Now to those that silently  read, never comment. reach out.. you will be more successful according to that study..

I watched news yesterday and they had this report on vending machines.. they came out with a new concept of putting fruits in them. They got this special packaging to keep it fresh and of course it is cool in the vending machine. They interviewed a few people and there were mixed feelings about it.

Now they want to roll those into schools and college campuses and would assume hospitals. What a great idea. I was so excited to see this. the vending machine in Shelby’s school pisses me off to no end. from yo yo to chips to yogurt pretzels nothing good in them. I know a few kids in the report said no one will buy them but well then they take something from home so be it but the healthy option is there.

Now how brilliant. why could they not come up with this a long long time ago.

So I just had to share this. the entire kids eating healthy is so important to me. It starts early. Teach them early and they might never have that battle. they learn to love fruits as a sweet treat and veggies of all kinds.

I see the difference between my two kids who are 13 years apart.

Shelby was raised on fish sticks fries and nuggets and pizza and she besides corn hated every vegetable.. her nose would ruffle up when I served some. Now it took her forever to like veggies and she was just missing out. She is lucky cause she is a string bean by nature. But it takes a lot longer to undue bad habbits then good ones.

Jack so far his little 17 months on earth loves every veggie cause he does not know better. And I hope it will stay like that.

So would you support the vending machine of fruits in schools?

Our school sort of sucks cause when the only water issue came up in vending machines parents through a big fuss as did teachers. i thought it was a great idea…but it was voted down…

On another front.. i got up earlier today so I am making head way on the becoming a morning person.

But I have no clue why the last two days jack has gotten up early too which I am not so fond off cause I am going to bed earlier so I wanted my me time in the morning..

I also lost 2 pounds so I am back to my goal weight of 139.8.. about dang time..it took me three days to put on 3 pounds and tok me a month to work off 3.. not fair I say LOL

Okay those are my ramblings of the day

I so want to be a morning person. I try so hard but it is just not working.

I want to be the one getting up at 5 or 6 am and be full of energy. Lace up my running shoes pr pop in a DVD maybe even do some circuit training and feeel good. But I struggle to roll out of bed, my eyes half way closed, I feel my way to the kitchen make some coffee curse at the machine cause it is taking so long sit there and hate life for about an hour or two.

In the summer i was able to get up early for a few weeks but then it left me and ever since then I cannot get it back. I felt good back then getting up early .Running and enjoying the fresh air. made my entire day better

I just am a night owl. I can stay up till 2 or 3 am and work out, do laundry or other house work but do not ask me do those things before 9am.

Why is that? How can I change it? Anyone have any tips for me?

Tony and I decided to go running once a week in the morning. I thought it was a great idea yesterday afternoon. But I am sitting here at 7am thinking uhm there is no way Tony or myself are getting up at 5am to go drive to the place we want to go running at..’

So are you guys morning people?

Have you always been like that?

So I got to brag on my Tony for a bit here.. As all of you know I have been pretty down lately. Well Saturday was my birthday and my man took me on a long hike which lifted my mind and my spirit so much. Then Monday rolled around and I was all down again.

So today Tony popped into the house and said Kerstin when Jack wakes up we are going hiking. It is not much of a hike a 6 miler at best but up and down hills the entire 6 miles. We packed up the stroller which is not one of those nifty jogging strollers but a whimpy city stroller and off we went.

Tony made me push the stroller the entire time and let me tell you my arms are burning right now.

He made me run up the hills yelling at me. shesh my male Jillian i tell you. when I wanted to quit he just said do not stop almost there.. he ran with me. Now doing this on gravel some real thick and loose with a  slick little city stroller not the easiest thing I have ever done.

Now that just showed me I need to make sure once a week to run with hills or I will never improve. my calves were burning like HELL. and as were my arms..

for about a quarter mile we there was no trail so we went through the paint mines and it was thick sand. again tough as can be tony actually had to help me i couldn’t pull the stroller through that.

We decided we will go early mornings once a week and one time in the evening and go try to run it. there is no way I can run that yet and I think it will take a bit especially with Tony but I am so excited. Now I call this support. what a man. My spirits are lifted I feel great and know not much matters I have the best husband and wonderful kids. Jack had so much fun too .. we took him out of the stroller but.. well.. he went zig zag and we did not get too far and I was a bit scared of mountain lions snatching him or a rattle snake he just bolted right into the grass.. so that venture did not last long…

So here is to all the mom’s who say they have no time or they can’t work out with their kids..

YOU CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

take  a stroller and start walking Find a hilly place and trust me it is a full body work out. if you feel frisky run a bit on pavement it is not that hard to push a normal stroller..

Here are a few other tips

if you have a small child you can lay on your back lift up your little one above your head. go slow then lower again slow then Kiss.. watch out for drool.. do this sets of ten 3 times. for a total of 30. there ya go arm work out and good for the chest..

it takes 5 minutes ..

You do not have to put aside a block of time to work out you can do a lot of stuff a couple minutes here and there.

set one day for lower body.. if your kids are older.. do the mirror game. you squat they squat.. trust me they can do this better than we can.. again sets of 10 or 15.. same with lunges..

 do burpees…do a pick up game.. scatter blocks all over and squat when you pick them up see who picks up the most.. if you got a small one lay him between your legs do squats and tickle each time you go down.

when older

core.. 

put your kid on your leg while you have your legs elevates hold on to their hands raise your legs.. you can do that with bent leg or straight leg. straight leg is much harder..

 you can have them on your leg while you do a crunch and hold hold hold it for a good long time.. repeat those things…

cardio outside at the playground tons of stuff you can do.. pull ups mountain climbers jump up and down of a step etc.. tons of things..

I bet a few mommies will even join in.. we just sometimes have to be creative… it does not have to cost money to loose weight and time wise we HAVE to time we just got to think how we can get a work out in..

So if someone needs help to come up with something just shoot me an email.. I can get quite creative I have a kid and I know how easy it is we have no time. but we do.. we just do not get creative enough cause it is not all that much fun at times..

and the best part is you are teaching your kids moving is GREAT..

I do not want to preach do not get me wrong I am trying to help. you are (whoever this applies to) not the only one but it can be done..

SO  here you see how I live. I live about 15 minutes from this place. Nancy the flat land there with the brown grass this is what I look at ALL the time.. that is Prairie.. LOL. now you know..

the place is called Paint mines and the owners made it public so we can all enjoy it. I always think of the little indians who probably played there. How neat it would be to go back and see …

okay so Wild cats have the biggest looser challenge (thanks nancy) and I did not join it but since I am the one posting the biggest looser last chance work out every week I decided to do it. But I could not complete it. Dang I was a bit disappointed in myself.

It was mostly arm strength and .cardio in front of the tv. Jack decided he had his own plans and did not go to bed so he kept running off with my weights ( 10 pound dumbbells) and then of course he dropped one on his foot and the drama began..

We started out good though cause tony was doing some push ups with me as Shelby attempted to do the same.. She is so cute.. little weakling. but she managed to do 2 real ones.. which was huge for her. she had 3 pound weights and was huffing and puffing..

At least i got a bit in and that alone feels good. it could have been another day where I just sat on the couch. I have not run since Sunday cause it is so windy here and really does not make it any fun. i can deal with the cold but not with the wind.

So someone today told me something that made me think..

I was told I am a good person and I should not change cause other people do not get me.

She is so right. I think I needed to hear that. I have been toying with the idea of making some major changes but why? For whom? Not for myself really.. My husband loves me for who I am, as does my Shelby those are the ones who come number one..

Then my dear true friends especially the ones on here. They get me, understand me and love the fact I am honest and real. And I am not mean in the process…

So I think I will stick to who I am and not try to change myself into someone I am just not.

Thank you my dear loving friend for not only opening my eyes but for loving me for who I am.. and to the rest of the crew as well..

I am going to stay true to myself .. thanks for that..